Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Mike Posner's Cheated becaomes my new favorite song

Hellooooo :]
I am once again writing back - as promised - on Tuesday since i'm at work. Today's a special day because tomorrow is my birthday!! I know, it's very exciting. You know what's weird? As you get older birthdays get less and less exciting. It's like the week before my birthday i'm super pumped. And then when it acutally comes..i'm pretty mello about it. However i LOVE balloons, and Belly and Ant brought me one to work as my happy early birthday gift :] Did i mention i have the best friends in the world?

In commemeration of my birthday i have a very big story for you today. It's recent, and my most juicy story yet because it's kind of the climax of my stories. Not that they're not all amazing, but this one...well you'll see.

Mike Posner's Cheated becomes my new favorite song.
(Long Title, i'm aware)
So. Let's take this back to seventh grade. In seventh grade, end of the year i went to a friends birthday party in june. There i met this guy, let's call him Thomas. Instantly i thought he was GORGEOUS and loved him. He lived in a different town but this particular town would go to the same high school as us. So imagine my joy when i walked into class my first day of freshman year and find out this guy sits by me. I spent the entire first quarter watching him from afar wishing he was mine. Then like fate he and i get paried up as partners. I was thrilled. I spend LITERALLY 8 months pining after him, always liking him and wishing he and i would date. And after those eight long months of working hard to get him to like me back he finally cracked. He asked me out. We were together a year and a half. I'm not going to give you all the details of our relationship - because they don't matter. This isn't a love story, even though i can honestly say i  loved him. So when six months ago he broke up with me, i can honestly say he broke my heart. It's hard for me to admit that - i have a pretty though exterior but it's true. The saddest part is i saw it coming, it's like in the weeks before we broke up i was just waiting for it to happen. It's pathetic because god knows i never would have broken up with him. So when he did it - i cracked. I literally collapsed on the spot. Its ridiculous, i know, but i didn't know how to go on without him. I have my own way of coping with situations like that, i remove myself. The whole "let's just be friends" bull shit doesn't work on me, let's face it, he doesn't want to be friends. By breaking up with me he asked me to remove myself from his life - which is what i did. I'd like to be one of those girls thats all happy the next day and totally fine with being friends but thats not realistic. You're the douche bag that broke my heart. I can't ever talk to you again. I can't look past what you did - nor can i be friends with someone that made me cry for a straight five months. It's never going to happen - and he doesnt care. For any of you out there who are going through a tough time with a break up, heres my advice: Enjoy it. Spend  time with your friends, flirt, do things you couldn't do when you had a boyfriend. Eat tons of ice cream & LISTEN TO BREAK UP SONGS. That is my number one therapy. Hence mike posners "cheated" it is the perfect song for a break up, also on my list are the following:
--Fuck You by CeeLo
--Till I Forget About You by Big Time Rush
--Worth the Wait by Lights out Dancing
--F*** You by Lily Allen
and basically the other typical break up songs that i'm sure you can find on your own and then the pick me up songs really help too.

I know that wasn't very detailed - but i felt it was necessary to tell you about Thomas. Because he's changed who i am forever, and he will always be a part of me because of what he did.

Peace Love & Birthdays.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Bang on the Doldrums

Hello online world!!
It's Saturday February 26th, 2011 and boy it is a nasty day where I live. I don't know about you all but personally I hate the snow after December 25th, and therefore today - since it is snowing and 20 degrees - I hate the weather.

As you may have guessed I am currently at work.
If you were curious - I work as a receptionist. Which is a very VERY boring job. The upside? I can text, do my homework, and complain to you. :]. So today I decided it might be cool to ask you for advice. So I have an anecdote for you as usual which today will be called:

Bang on the Doldrums
(yes i named it after a Fall Out Boy song - problem?)
So today i am going to share a story with you about my former bestfriend - we'll call him Jakob. So just some background information that i think is necessary to know, when i moved to my town Jakob was a boy who was my age that lived across the street. We quickly became really good friends and would play with eachother all the time and have sleep overs on the weekend. As we got older we got a little disconnected and started hanging out with different crowds but would still talk occasionally. And now we've started talking again. Like everyday. And it's safe to say that i think i might have developed "feelings" for him possibly? I'm not sure - and that's where my story comes in.
In fifth grade Jakob was over at my house and as all kids do in fifth grade we were asking eachother who the other one "liked" We decided it would be a good idea to write down who we liked on this sheet of paper. Now in fifth grade i still liked the boy Seamore who i told you about in my first post - so that's who i wrote down on my little sheet. After some thinking on his end he wrote down our neighbor who was older than us down on his sheet. After he left i didn't think much of it and moved on. About a week later i was cleaning my basement when i found a sheet of paper. It was the same stationary that me and jakob had used to write down our secret crushes. On the sheet of paper were three words "I like you." I was taken aback. I asked my sister if it was one of her friends handwriting - she said no. I knew that it must have been from jakob.  I never brought it up with him after that for fear of awkwardness, but i always wondered about it since then.
So now i'm sitting here wondering what's going on with us. He sends me a multitude of mixed signals telling me things like "i guess i'm your dream guy" or "when are we hanging out? ;p" text messages and then two seconds later will say things like "well we're friends, so were cool" or "tell your friends i'm available!" so i don't know what to think. I'm confused beyond belief so if you think you have any insight - it would be much appriciated.

Now i'm at work and must help people with their party rental.
I'll write back again on Tuesday when i work again.

Peace Love & Confusion

PS-Incase you were wondering why i used a FOB song for my title the lyrics to the refrain of that song kindof explain my opinion on what should happen with me and jakob "best friends ex friends to the end better off as lovers and not the other way around..." I<3Music.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Belly Up

Helllooo there online world!
I'm back. And tonight as I sit at work I decided it might be cool to share another little bit about my life with you. So if it's alright with all of you I will share another little story about my life. So as I told you before I have a few best friends and tonight I am going to talk specifically about one of them -- Belly. Out of all my friends she is probably my best. She makes me the most outgoing, and we get along really well. So as my story for you tonight we will label it...Belly Up.

Belly Up
So, in seventh grade I got my frist real boyfriend. Well what I considered to be a "real" boyfriend. I actually asked him out myself - the funny part was we had barely talked before my friend popped the question for me. The funniest part was she asked him without me knowing. So we had been "dating" for about a weekend before I even know I was in a "relationship". So Belly and I had like STALKED this kid at a football game about a week before we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" and let me just say we talked a total of one time throughout our whole "relationship" even though I had an entire section devoted to him in my AIM profile. He didn't even have a screenname. So about a month in to our dating-ness I got an IM from this other boy at my school, asking me out! I responded like a faithful girlfriend saying I already had a boyfriend! But he convinced me - and we'll call him Marko became my new boyfriend. I had to break things off with the old kid. So now you may be wondering where Belly comes into this story, but just let me get to it. So Marko and I had an on and off relationship for the next probably...three years. It was ridiculous. Now during our little on and off phase Belly and I were good friends and she always supported me throughout my Marko phase, or so I thought. However the whole time I dated Marko the first time - Belly had a crush on him too. I never knew. And the whole time she was going behind my back hating me for dating him and I didn't even know about it. Now this came to my attention about a year ago when I finally found out that she had a thing for him. And I felt really bad - so I asked her about it. She proceeded to tell me that she hated me for the whole of seventh grade, and that yes she did like him. She then called me a bitch and walked away. Now you may think this is harsh - but two seconds later she turned around (laughed) and we were best friends again. This is kind of how me and bellys relationship works, and while this might have been a somewhat boring story I think it gives a good introduction of Belly. She's sarcastic, funny, harsh, and loveable all in one. And I think that's why she's my best friend. She can be cold sometimes, but she's got my back - and when thinking of a good way to introduce her, I thought this was it.

Well I will leave you online world to ponder your best friends, and your life while i continue to sit here at work for another hour.

Peace Love & Bestfriends

Saturday, February 12, 2011

It started with a Squid Story

So I guess this is a "blog", i've never had one before - so forgive me if this is megalame. During this little post I will try to get you interested in my boring ass life and keep you wanting to know more about me ;)

So here goes nothing.
Disclaimer: In order to keep my friends from killing me for posting about them, i will be changing their names.

So, I guess I should tell you about myself. I'm 17, I live in a pretty small town, and in my opinion it is the most boring town on the face of the planet. It's typical - there's nothing to do, EVER. My highschool is stereotypical - there's the popular kids, the nerds, the stoners, the jocks, and then me and my friends who are basically the kids who don't fit into a group and who kind of float along always waiting to feel wanted and belonging. Here's what's going on in my life - I have probably like four best friends. We'll call them...Belly, Ant, Daria (yay 90s mtv shows!) & Juulz. They're pretty sweet - obviously they're my best friends. You'll find out more about them later. Okay so here's the basis of why i think you should keep track of me:

Fiiiirstly, I'm interesting, the things that happen in my life ocassionaly can cause some people to be interested in what i have to say. FOR EXAMPLE! I just went through a major breakup - that's drama, interesting right? Don't you want to know whyyy my boyfriend of a year and a half dumped my ass outside my house in the middle of the night? I know I would. Secondly, the people at my school can be BITCHES, doesn't everyone love a good catfight? And thirdly I tend to always have SOME GOSSIP to share, and who doesn't like some good old gossip talk.

Everyday I will let you divulge a little deeper into my personal life - with a cute little anecdote about something that has recently happened to me. So, just as my title of my blog today said - todays story is named

It started with a Squid Story.
OKAY. So this story takes place in my fourth grade class when I truley belive I got my first crush on a boy. We'll call him Seamore. Seamore was in my class, and seriously I fell in looove with this kid. (I wrote "I <3 You!!" Next to his name in my fourthgrade yearbook. Talk about embarassing) And consequently I truley believe that he is the reason why I get dumped time & time again (seriously, I have only dumped TWO of my past boyfriends, and I have dated quite a few people). See here's the thing. Seamore and I were nice little pals in my fourth grade class, and one day we were working on our animal science project. And he called me over to see what he had done so far. When he called me over he gave me a description of his project and wouldn't let me leave, seriously, his squid project was basically my project after that conversation. He talked and talked and talked, each minute making me love him and his squids a little bit more. And from then on out we knew it was true love. Being the first boy that I think I really liked - I don't think it helped that he liked me back. I found out he had a crush on me too when he wrote a note to my friend in that class sharing with her that I was the one he had a crush on! I remember the note perfectly, the little boy handwriting saying he liked ME! Out of all the girls ME! Wooohoo! But now I am older and wiser - and am a firm believer in thinking that boys should reject you from the start. Because then you get used to it. Then you never get your hopes up! Because after getting what I wanted then - I thought I should get whatever I want ALWAYS! Espesially when it came to guys. I am a hopeless pathetic, who always thinks guys will like me back shooting me for heartbreak.

So the lesson of the day is to never like a boy who tells you about his squid story - because after that, it is very possible you will get your heart broken. Like I just recently did.

Well I think that's enough for the day, I hope you'll keep with me, I consider myself to be pretty radical.

Peace Love & Squids